Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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