Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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