Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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