she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
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He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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