My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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