if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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