Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
