I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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