Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
