we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
