you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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