Are we in a gay sports bar?
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
