mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going