Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.