Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
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I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
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drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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