I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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