i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i believe in u and ur pee
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
