it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
