So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
