Dude my mom stole all your condoms
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
did you just send me my own nude
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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