stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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