it's too hot outside to masturbate.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
