they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
