We won't sleep together?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
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