oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
