census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
