Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
