Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
