The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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