I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
