i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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