Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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