you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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