as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
