I think I am morally bankrupt
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
