I skipped work to stalk him.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
