i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm too high and old for this...
These tits shall not be calmed
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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