Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
