At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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