i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
