Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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