Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
