i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
