She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
