i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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