I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
