Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
