she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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