I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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