I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
