Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
