I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
