..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
