I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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