I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
