Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
