dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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