hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
