There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
