East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
