Kiss
Puke
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
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I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
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Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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