Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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