i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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