planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
